I've never had a man I enjoyed more than steak
If I've learned one thing today? Blow jobs get you to state championships.
Alright. Who did it? Who's bangin' the ump?
Its a three day weekend with Valentines day thrown in... Im obligated to get drunk
who knew that if you vomit while skydiving the puke goes up towards the people that are behind you.
if that blanket by the dog bowl was your dog's "bed" then i apologize to bailey for having sex on it
A kind stripper put a blanket over me last night
You told them that the brownies were safe, and then pointed to a passed out Ryan and said "see?"
I deleted my history right in front of my girlfriend w/out her seeing. Let's go skydiving with no parachutes. I can live thru anything.
I made out with a dude last night who has an ex wife. Is this what post grad life is about?
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
If a cop comes up to me I'm whipping out my cock, swinging it around and singing the national anthem
I hate that I will forever be known as the girl who puked on the front lawn. That only happened once.
i dont think sending her flowers will make her forgive you running over her foot.
Dad is wasting no time getting back out there. Just walked in on him and a Twin Peaks waitress in the hot tub
Who fucking spams baby shark at a sports bar
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