It is pretty awful out and I still haven't put on pants yet.
You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
Apparently shes in the bathroom puking but eating a pot roast she found in the fridge at the same time.
im still trying to figure out who put the honey mustard in the blender then put the entire blender into the freezer
why is my forehead so bruised?
i found you outside knocking on the door with your head because you couldn't lift your arms.
i've been lying on top of my bed for the past 20 minutes
i'm about to blow half an adderall though and try to rally
It was insane. I was drunk for 11 consecutive hours. I woke up covered in almonds and there were footprints all over my shirt
You went home with a man in a loincloth
I just watched him leave in half a loincloth. Don't you just love Halloween???
In order to see him, he made me facetime with his penis, which he had drawn a smile face on. Getting laid shouldn't be this difficult.
I just walked out topless, stared his brother straight in the eye, and ate all the rest of their cookie dough.
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
Hey I can officially say I made out with a drug lord.
I woke up naked wrapped in a wolf blanket on the bathroom floor
UPS just delivered me 30lbs of dried cherries... I shouldn't be allowed online when I take painkillers.
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