Girls are like M&M's, once the lights go out you can't tell the difference.
the repo guy said it was the first time he'd ever started to repo a car with someone fucking inside of it. he might have said 'doing it' instead.
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
I need rollerblades now
Rollerblades pick up bitches
I just want to lay in a bed of egg mcmuffins and cry
That's what I love about being a lesbian. My roommate's boyfriend watched her finger me and then he made me pancakes in the morning. AND THEN HE LEFT.
He could only go twice. I need a guy with more stamina and is less married
I had sex with him and I blame the Doritos
We got kicked out of yet another strip club because your mom wanted to "show these kiddies how it's done"
"He didn't answer my snap so I know he's arrested"
Welp. June's off to a great start. I just ripped my pants, completely sober, at 10:30 p.m.
You're the only person I know who's experienced a micropenis and a magnum XL penis
Not my fault people bought me shots. waving a shot in my face is like waving a cock in yours
the walk of shame isn't very shameful when your mom tells you she's proud of you.
Do you think the hole in the ceiling will count against our security deposit?
Randomize
