Best porno line to date...."drinks are on me..." while she female ejaculates into a wine chalice
i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
we need to drink 2009 down the drain
What's the most polite way to ask if you puked in my vase?
he puked in his toast at dennys. after snoopdogg high fived him. couldn't be prouder to be his bro in law.
I cant leave dude. theres a horse with a top hat on
I'm lying here drinking water from a shot glass..moving is not an option right now
I have never heard someone not give a fuck so poetically in my life. I feel like you should be leading men into battle with a speech like that
Yes, I have your ice luge mold. I'll do a prisoner exchange for the beer bong
I found out he put two potatoes in a jar because he wants to make his own vodka.
This popcorn tastes like salt and regret. It reminds me of the first blowjob I ever gave.
You've ruined popcorn for me.
You said you liked how I put the cream cheese on.
He was watching porn and riding a stationary bike in the living room
Your vagina needs to teach my vagina its ways.
Booze, boobs, blunts and batman. dude, I'm livin' the life.
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