Somedays I wish I were a bird. Then people wouldn't be so grossed out when I vomit
My recently uploaded pictures to facebook: Me partying on Beale St. with a single girl on each arm. Ex's recently upload pictures: Several pictures of cats. I win.
I've spent 9 hours vomitting in the fetal position... how did i stay like this for 9 months?
Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
now that we've slept with the entire soccer team i think its time to expand the horizon.
Just wanna let u know that we are almost on the pity blow job level of our friendship.
i'm going through an 80s music phase. and by phase i mean i will only have sex to white snake
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
Alright, deal. Settling two drug deals before noon is what I call a productive day. I'm not even gonna go to math, I've practiced enough numbers for the day.
IDK. when she left she was wearing her bra like an eyepatch and offering to shiver the timbers of the dorm patrol.
Just spilled a coffee mug full of scolding hot oatmeal on my bare dick. Hope you're having a good Friday night too.
Started out playing table tennis then ended up fucking him on the table. Happy cinco de mayo
We were fucking in the boat on the lake when another boat saw us and honked their appreciation.
It was pretty awesome. I drank out of a stein and attempted to dance to dubstep with some older guys in leiderhosen.
About the whale....I wasn't completely awake.
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