I'm on that like soy sauce on rice
Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
Don't let me forget to bring the toilet inside tonight.
Woke up this morning on my doorstep in a basket with a branch, a lipstick lightning bolt on my head and a sign that said "the boy who lived." i love you guys.
Does it count as working out if stops are taken every half hour to smoke a blunt?
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
And if you ever tell anyone that I have emotions ill kill you
The gas station was closed so we found old PBR and played Edward Nalgene Hands instead
What would you do if your asshole suddenly made the sound of a sheep duck baa/quacking the words kill me
You are so incredibly one of a kind, it's astounding
Tbh I fell asleep cuddling a bag of Brazilian nuts. Franzia never dissappoints me
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.
The main motivators in my life are my sex drive and spite
so how was it...?
sadly not as impressive as one might expect from a division one athlete. he lacked the stamina i had hoped for, and by lacked i do mean he fell asleep while he was still inside me. an epic wtf moment, i know.
I'm going to tell you something and I want no judgement because it's america day and I'm wearing an American flag bathing suit but...I woke up in a yard.
Randomize
