I must be too annoying 4 u.
Why do my orgasm prompt her to begin using babytalk EVERYTIME?!
The only reason I kept his number in my phone for so long is so that hed pay for my abortion.
just took my birth control pill with a shamrock shake. happy st. patrick's day
I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
I've decided I'm just gonna keep drinking til the baby bump shows...
He was really drunk and I dared him to jump the swimming pool on his bike. Sadly he couldn't. Hey did you know a testicle can burst?
I just called my cat a slut and she responded. Proudest moment ever.
I've banged too many servicemen's wives to still be considered an American.
he told me he's been faithful to his girlfriend and is gonna try to stay that way. challenge accepted.
Last night I was just holding this kitten up to my face for like ten minutes telling it that it couldn't be real
It felt like a sumo wrestler slapped me. With a wet hand. 8 times in a row.
Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?
This conversation went from me banging other women's husbands to learning about baked goods. If that isn't personal growth I don't know what is.
Thank you for stopping me from getting a butt tattoo. That was a good call.
Randomize