I just puked in the walgreens aisle buying gatorade and advil for my hangover... i guess i failed
I'm pretty sure I saw a man standing on a table with no shirt on getting sugar thrown at him while "pour some sugar on me" blaring while the cops were in the house.
My shirt is ruined. If I ever get the idea of doing a tequila shot through my nose ever again, shoot me.
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
Yeah thats cool. We can play the alphabet game while doing bumps of coke in the back of his volswagon
He screamed AMERICA, took a shot of vodka out of a Tupperware container, and then asked if he could see my tits
it wasn't until he got that douchey haircut that i started regretting sleeping with him
Ok how about tonight me and you get laid together. Same girl. Then she signs our dicks.
As weird as it sounds I would totally be down
I mean it's like...I'm sorry I slept with your boyfriend but is it my fault that he failed to mention you when I was giving him head in the Dave and Busters bathroom?
There is so much wrong with that sentence
Yeah there really shouldn't be a bar at D&B's...shit gets real
I'm wearing a utility belt filled with alcohol
Can't find our DD
He's backstage giving the strippers foot massages.They kidnapped him the moment he walked thru the door.
Wait, tell the rest at happy hour. I wanna be able to interrupt you with my loud cackles and stupid questions.
so I guess I made a note in my phone last night to remind myself not to do shrooms on the cruise ship
I have got to move on from this "sleeping with every drug dealer I meet" phase.
Randomize
