i stole $50 bucks from my girlfriends purse to pay for my other girls abortion pill...shes gonna be pissed
Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
I have now ridden the bus with a ninja, a samurai and Jesus. Who says the bus is for losers.
Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
Now he's lighting his socks on fire
Pretty sure God shed a tear when I put 15 singles in the collection plate.
Idgaf if he's a manwhore, he's like the mt. everest of penises. howcan I NOT try to put that inside me?
I left myself a trail of jello shots, that ended at his door. OR maybe he left me a trail of jello shots at his door. DO I GO IN!?
Wtf are freshmen gonna think when the first thing they see in a pale 6'4 white kid with a mustache yelling ya man and we be liming in a Trinidadian accent
We had a deepthroating contest with breadsticks at Olive Garden
A conundrum I think only you would understand: how to classily post "I need a ride to the liquor store" on one's Facebook wall?
Idk how I even got accepted into college because literally the only things my brain ever thinks about are YouTube videos of baby animals and sex.
Blacked out and Irish exited last night. At dinner. On a Sunday.
Did I turn a man straight...??
Yes!
But yeah, I am thinking that "Cake Heresy" will now be a thing
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