So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
We are like the golden girls with less cheesecake and more drugs.
Now he's talking about how he's writing in a journal because he doesn't remember "his thought patterns when he was in elementary and that's distressing". I'm walking home. Fuck this.
I just found ouut you can get a DUI in a kayak. Fuck.
I feel like I just need to fuck him after all his effort. like a "hey man good try" like those kids who get last place and still get a trophy.
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
just watched a cripple ollie in his wheelchair to get on to the elevated floor in the bar. I. LOVE. WISCONSIN
Someone with the Instagram name "hymenbreaker" just liked a photo of me and my grandma. I feel ashamed.
I imagine my service panda will provide sufficient protection. At the very least it will be an irresistible cuddly distraction while I make good my escape.
It's that whole "half Japanese, half asshole" thing. My brother and I have found that people really go for that
That was a very uncomfortable conversation to have without pants on. But his mom was pretty cool about it.
VAL. THIS MOTHERFUCKER IS LAYING IN MY BED WEARING A CAT SHIRT, VAL. COME SAVE ME, VAL.
Good news. His dicks gotten wayy bigger since high school. I love Thanksgiving break.
Who the fuck just called me and played funkytown
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
Randomize
