remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
Do you think the guy at the front desk was watching us last night? Although we were in a public pool, therefore our tits were free game.
got extra credit for showing up to class before a holiday. it hit me 5 minutes later that she meant easter....
She tried to ditch the cab before she payed but she forgot to grab her shoes and wake me up
Why did I wake up holding food tongs?
I need to keep a secret stash of instant alcoholic margaritas for when i deal with people. For example, right now, im grading, and I just don't fucking care any more. My students should make a thank you card for Jose Cuervo.
Walgreens has pop rocks. Be prepared to get your dick sucked.
It makes me feel all patriotic & free... And borderline diabetic.
I was masterbating to some porn on my phone and my mom decides to text me "are you okay?" I mean i was doing great until you cock blocked me mom..
...take a good look at your butthole.... then try matching it to any paint color on the Benjamin Moore color wheel....not gonna happen...
So I wore my ankle step-counter exercise thingy while I rode him. Don't fuck him- I only burned .2 pounds.
He said he’s shouting let’s get this bread the first time we have sex...
He’s very straightforward
I was trying to get nudes from last night and ended up getting a family portrait!
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