You are writing your college essay comparing yourself to Lady Gaga, Vladimir Putin, and Dale Earnhardt Jr. and you are worried about the conclusion sounding cheesy?
allie, at least he made an effort and braided his goatee.
They broke our car window and then wrote "great night" on the next
he told me he was a Boston Bruins fan so I took his hat into the bathroom and peed in it...I've never been a prouder Ranger fan
To my ex and my favorite mistake: I totally enjoyed hearing you have erectile disfunction via baby monitor!
If that's all it takes to cure your hangovers then you need to drink more.
Dude if her licking my face hammered isn't love I don't really want to know what love is.
Thats Poetry
Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
I know. It was just so disappointing. I almost made it. And now the "when's the last time you peed your pants" clock has restarted. Lol
I'm standing up, for my all my brothers and sisters, and fighting against whiskey dick.
Broke my ankle and blacked out on my scooter last night. 'Twas grand.
You squatted and peed on the living room floor while maintaining eye contact with Sebastian
No we didn't fuck. He picked me up I asked where we were going and he said "I don't know if you've ever heard of a little place called Denny's?" He was completely serious. I told him to stop the car and I got out and called Jack.
You can cuddle me. Word on the street is my ass is ridiculous.
I just revenge puked in his shoes. This is gonna be a fun night :)
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