New discovery: doing the Helen Keller is not as attractive as I thought it would be, in reference to the sex noises.
Next weekend I am getting a library card and staying my whore ass home.
if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
Looking at the victoria's secret website makes the ice cream I'm eating taste like sadness and obesity
Could you please tell them to stop whispering "thundercunt" every time I walk in the room?
Just learned how to deliver a baby.the things i saw tonight can never be unseen
i almost hope i AM knocked up so i can ruin the rest of his life
eat the baked goods on the counter at your own risk... i made them while i was angry and drunk so they most likely have pubes in them
They left at like 4. I got up to help clean their house this morning and we found his pants. No ones heard from him, we're all a little scared.
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
KETAMINE SUNDAYS ARE SERIOUSLY FUCKING ME UP!
today i was walking through gramercy with a dress bag from David's Bridal and a bag of McDonald's. No guy would make eye contact with me as I scarfed down my fries. I think I was mankind's walking night terror.
Dude he's moving to fucking Germany now. What is it about your vagina that makes men want to flee the continent?
His whole street is under construction. Third walk of shame this week & I'm getting a lot of sympathetic nods from the workers.
Randomize
