The ticket read "Found nude in a tree"
clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
I'm sorry for what I said earlier...your vagina wouldn't look funny If you had a kid.
I can do anything tonight that doesnt involve an erection.
Even though I wasn't drunk last night, I peed in the sink just so I could keep my record going
Gave a homeless guy 3 bucks earlier. Just saw him at the bar. He bought one beer and left. Happy to see my 3 dollars was well spent
Don't worry about it. Anal sex isn't always sunshine and wildflowers.
they drunkenly created an obstacle course for the poor hamster and its ball.
There is a 90 percent chance I threw up in a mailbox last night....
I can smell the sangria seeping out of my pores
i'm gonna crowd surf you onto his dick
Tight. Want to get up, make coffee, sit on separate couches and silently read our mobile devices together?
she grabed my junk and started making lightsaber noises
I wonder if you could get her in a metal bikini
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