when i was 16 reading the aftercare instructions at the piercing place i wondered why they would ever think to warn me about getting semen in my bellybutton
then i met college
this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
Okay my swimming class is like the fatass/diabetic guide to losing 2 pounds by christmas
Your brother came in a girls mouth for the first time last night... Ah the tales told whilst buying minors beer.
I sat on the ground outside wawa chain smoking and telling two strangers about my sex life. I also accepted Rick James Bitch and Celine Dion as their names.
Its bad when you wake up with a penis drawn on your face. Its worse when you find out its traced..
I'm on the toilet with no toilet paper. When are you coming over? I'm contemplating on just staying here until you arrive.
The salesman at the smoke shop just told me my hair is glorious...
Soooo we should kick it sometime when it's like light outside. Drink outta cups.. Be bitches. 7, 6, 3, 5.. 4, 2, 1... Sschhkiddaellladiieessscchk
You were wearing a cookie monster onesie and telling everyone you were actually the sausage monster..
On the bright side I still got laid
I vaguely remember making out with some dude. Please tell me he had all of his teeth.
Honestly at least you're not debating on whether or not you need to take plan b. But I can't because I spent all my money on pizza.
I'm still not sure how to feel about the fact that we had a threesome with a guy the same age as my dad
I am talking to a naked lesbian about robots. I think this means I win life.
I mean the power was out what was I supposed to do
Randomize
