Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
This hotel is not contributing to my sobriety, they have 4 kinds of free wine and beer.
She liked every single Facebook status in her newsfeed and then made her status 'I LIKE U GUYS'
Did we fight the bathroom girl ? She just wanted to give us lotion and condoms.
this is you don't wonder off at 3 am with no pants on. Just stay there and pray to god you don't get arrested for being on school property.
Drunkenly bought a $240 realtor course last night. Apparently even drunk me thinks my future is going nowhere
I feel like a color. Like a wavy color
You yelled "I gave my neighbor some of my bitch sauce" and then passed out. You now have drinking limits with us.
Saw the same Luigi I hooked up with last Halloween. Still in his same Luigi costume and scruff that hurt my face
Note to self:A blacklight toga party at a frat house is a bad idea. Some things cannot be unseen
I put purple lights under my bed and asked him if he wanted to fuck in a spaceship.
well i don't know if 30 seconds is exactly a good time but at least he bought me breakfast
Is that your mom climbing in your window dude
Clearly you need to take sleeping pills and put your phone in the toilet
Randomize
