I ride home in a shopping cart. Don't at like you aren't jealous.
Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.
I think I'm on the verge of a really slutty period in my life
you handed me the dorito you were about to eat and told me to 'keep him safe' while you went to the bathroom
ur roommate just sent me a pic of us fucking. i'm not coming over anymore.
4:37 am. You're wearing underwear and carpet skates. Borderline crying. You want to punch Morgan. Have not stopped singing Give Your Heart a Break.
Didn't you used to babysit him?
18 years ago I helped him into his clothes. Today he helped me out of mine.
I was driving around a golf cart with a keg in the back before I got caught by the cops. First slow speed chase ever
a guy messaged me on POF to ask if I knew of any places that were hiring. And was being completely deadass serious. I'm so done
Remember that guy I fucked last month? Well I'm watching his dog this weekend while he's in the Bahamas with his girlfriend. What is my life
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
Just for future reference. Do not do zumba while stoned out of your mind.
i just found a lighter in my bra... from last night, and its 7:43pm...
On a scale from 1 to 10 how gross is it to get a chili dog from a vending machine?
Randomize
