Me too!
I would kick you in the vagina but I'm afraid I would lose my shoe.
dude just tell them you don't wear clothes. they'll understand
Whoever said drinking more helps a hangover didn't drink 96% of a fifth of whiskey last night. This is absurd.
No no I got the black eyes when I tried to do a flip off the second deck of a pontoon boat. Actually when I did a flip, it was a success.
They need to leave so I can start drinking shamefully.
Yeah sorry about that. I got pulled into the Russian student society's end of term party. There was too much vodka and eurodance to come help you pack.
I really wanna just be like, can you just eat me out and stop whining
I think that would solve a million problems
we were both freshly single and using each other as rebounds. most intense sex I've ever had. i felt like a grizzly bear emerging from hibernation in a whirlwind of sexual fury
So when's a good time this week to show up at your apartment in nothing but a trench coat and a bow? Y'know. Hypothetically.
He's like a father figure to me, except we have casual drunk sex every now and then
I thought about mashed potatoes the whole way home
VIVE LA RESISTANCE
Oh god, what now?
also, I think I lit my hair on fire when I got home..
I just found your "it's drinking time" note in my chem notes. Why did this never happen??
I was waiting for you to find it...I'll be over in 5
Randomize
