so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
I may have pooped in your shoe. or somewhere else in your closet. its unclear.
I had to throw a towel over the bottles cuz it hurts to look at them
I'm going to a foam party and gonna grind someones dick off hayy
No no no...you park the car, stick your tongue down his throat, slip your number in his pocket, invite him to insomnia, and THEN LEAVE. You go from awkward to epic in a matter of seconds.
Not sure why, but I was running back and forth across the road. Cab hit me and gave us a free ride home.
Doing tequila shots with my ex to celebrate that we broke up... not awkward at all.
Did I seriously kick a door down last night... And if so when where and how hard, cause that shit I do not recall.
Find me a cup with a lid so I can illegally drink in your car. I'll be there in bout 10 minutes.
yea but i missed the pot and poured the boiling water on my dick. shit hurts. aint nothin easy about that mac
She's passed out laying in the middle of the street. Cars are honking at her and going around her body. We need to stop playing BONECRUSHER.
For an hr, you were convinced you no longer had a right arm so you played Super Mario Bros with just your left hand vs Beth. You won btw, mite b why she refused to wear the unicorn head
How did I pull off convincing everyone that my name is Dad? Maybe they were just distracted by my boobs.
He hand fed me trail mix then I watched the video of me the next morning. He was actually feeding me meow mix.....that drunk. I still have no regrets marrying him
Here's a rundown of my night alone. Danced my ass off in the kitchen to FleetmacWood. Drank a little bit. Ordered $40 worth of Chinese food once the drinks kicked in. Picked up said Chinese in dirty sweatpants and slippers. #livinglife
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