ready 4 sex 2nite?
wow. woo me matt, woo me.
it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
I think we should go ahead and pin a note to my shirt when we go out that says"do NOT buy me shots"
On the back we can put possible side effects may include: indiscriminate making out, brief crying spells, yelling in jibberish, and sudden sleep.
This is the last time I call a hotel to see if you or some random guy paid for the room last night.
Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
I can't wait to be a mother. My daughters gonna outdrink every boy in her grade
Haha I will however wear glass and and draw a lightning bolt scar if you want to have sex that way, and that can be the only time you can call me Harry.
You remember the guy that busted in waving a tazer at everyone yelling "get the fuck outta my crib"?
yeah you don't forget that shit easily
We ended up crawling out from our hiding spot and playing pool with him once he calmed down. His name is Marcus. I got his email.
He smells so good today
Seriously, back away from the sexual harrasment suit.
I am putting together a break up mix and its pretty much the best of Phil Collins
You made me take a photo of you under the stairs at the bar. "Look I'm Harry Potter."
You answered, dry heaved into the phone twice, & then hung up on me.
Nah leave him alone, he is at the strip club with his mom.
I really need to stop having sex.. I haven't been able to get a brush through the back of my hair for a good week and a half
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
Randomize
