I'm at subway, this 8 year old kid is judging my fashion sense with his dad. I want to kill myself.
It's ok, he's just 8, he's not judging you.
He just asked why I'm sitting alone. I honestly want to cry.
remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
first time Ive ever had to stop sex to go pass out in the kitchen floor...
I think call of duty has replaced my masturbating. And I'm alright with that.
he rolled over in his sleep, called me a hoe and then grabbed my crotch. some things never change, asleep or not.
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
I'm going to make him fall in love with me one blow job at a time.
You kicked in the door when she was blowing him. You dont remember do you?
I just had a flashback of me saying "I'm not ready to be a deadbeat mom" lastnight.
He came up and told us to watch as he chugged his beer with no hands. Then asked if he could come drunk swimming with us.
There is a drunk marine passed out on my porch. Mandy wouldn't sleep with him, Can you please come remove him?
Hey I came back and we made joints with the breathalyzers the cops left last night.
Stop calling him just to say, "my vagina misses you."
I'm so baked, I spent the last hour trying to screencapture the cracks on my phone.
I have put on lipstick and signed up for class. Nothing more shall be expected of me today.
Randomize
