i'm saving my butt for my wedding night
I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
Your the only friend that would realize I'm gonna get drunk and send coke to me at a bar before I made drunken phone calls for it. You sir complete me.....
Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
We left the window open. My vibrators funeral is at 2ish.....bring a side dish or some shit.
My dick is covered in produce stickers. I suspect you
All that fucking tequilla made my head feel like it's inside of a body builder's asshole. He's doing squats.
I've already agreed to hook up with 3 people tonight, and its not even 2:00 yet... I think this is what the path to success looks like.
Your topless pictures make me question reality
Ah that wonderful moment when you realise the bookmark you were using in a book you lent your mum is actually a receipt from a strip club
Then, right before he came he said "I want to buy you so many things!" What the fuck?!
The struggles of a small town man whore
I'm graduating college in 4 days. I already miss the bad decisions
YOURE ABOUT TO SEE SO MUCH UNCIRCUMCISED DICK
yea, she was legit pissed that her rasberry vodka ice cubes never actually froze. but we couldnt convince her otherwise.
Randomize
