I drank too much. My snot smells like vodka when I blow my nose.
i overslept, had to take a cab to the train station, might puke, bought the wrong flavored vitamin water, and mj's dead. what a terrible world to wake up to.
I go to guys houses late at night, have a little fun, come back by dawn having made their life a little bit better. I am the official blow job fairy.
you wouldn't come out from under your bed because you said there were six-armed bears everywhere.
ohhh that explains the pepperonis I found in my sock drawer this morning...
no it doesn't.
I promise you I could read that dogs mind, he was arguing with the other dog saying he knows how fucked up I am
I came home to the cats covered in paint and he was asleep in the tub with a firefighters hat on.
I AM HAVING A WEIRD OUT OF BODY EXPERIENCE. IN CAPS LOCK.
They made out. Sounded like hippos drinking water
Why do you think she gets more guys?
well her prof pic is her in her bedroom looking hot and mine is me looking terrified while holding a giant spider at 6 flags, so there's that
Jumanji is 1000% better stoned while cooking breakfast.
We were escorted through the guys dorm by 5 kids with nerf guns and zelda shields. I felt like the president with a fucked up secret service squad.
I hope. Last year I got lost in New Orleans and some guy named Cookie walked me home while I cried.
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
Just had a small freak out because I couldn't get my bra unhooked and thought I was gonna be stuck in it forever.
On a scale of having tea with Ghandi to the apocalypse how bad of an idea is it to drink with a 100 degree fever?
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