Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
listen if there's one thing I'm asking of you tonight is that you buy me a cow for my farmville.
Tell me you're stoned. It's 2:40am.
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
I found them in the kitchen microwaving bottle rockets chanting U.S.A U.S.A U.S.A
I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
I got to find out the airplane alcohol limit, and somehow I made it through the flight.
captain&coke to the library. STAT. this is an emergency. this is not a drill. I repeat: THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I walked out of the bedroom naked holding a used condom only to be greeted by half of my family. Happy birthday mom
I just found out my college boyfriend's nickname is actually a Dutch word for little cucumber.....it all makes sense now.
Why is my car covered in what appears to be salsa verde?
I think there's a problem with society when I'm shopping for lingerie and I think "man some of these would make kickass shirts"
Rigtt?!
Overheard a drunk girl talk about how when she's drunk she believes in more than one God
after you got high, you started to make guac with your bare hands and said: "there's soda bubbles in my legs"
You started having a threesome right in front of me.
lololol that's what happened?
Stephanie looked me right in the eye while she was going down on you. It made me really uncomfortable.
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