He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
Well, emily woke up in Hoboken, cati woke up in jersey city, and i woke up in brooklyn....and our hotel room we rented in the city remained empty. Best birthday yet.
How do I say to her "Have you eaten mango lately because my penis had an allergic reaction"
Decided to go explore a half built apartment complex at 4 a.m and leave a 3 block obstacle course in the alley ways on the way home.
Im having a christmas reunion party tonight. Last year i ate my own contact. We'll see how this year goes
It's okay. My lingerie drawer is skanky enough for the two of us. Even across borders.
Congratulations, I drank so much for your birthday that I'm shitting blood.
My life has become one weird ass game. No one wins. No one loses. We all just kind of hang in limbo and hope we don't die. Eskimo sisters for life. Please have sex with one of them.
I punted my pants across my apt at my roommate last night. Everything else is kinda fuzzy.
Do pleather leggings scream im easy on a first date?
he'll always be the guy that i fucked on the bathroom floor
Hey, scratch that. I've shit 8 times today. I don't have the energy to get laid so I cancelled my date.
I told her I had a small penis. Then replied if Peter Pan won with a dagger then so can I
Not my lover. I would rather lose all my teeth, and I fucking love my teeth.
I think I need practice at oral sex
I own a practice facility.
Randomize
