I guess i tried to text 911 last night with "someone stole my bong." Thank god that doesn't work...
Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
This show inspires me to have sex in space
Well, I was going to ask you what happened to all my lipstick. Until I saw the giant red penis on my living room wall.
They just came out of my bathroom and asked if I could spare them a condom. See. Its a good thing I have some.
the whole story woulnd't be so depressing if i had made out with ANYONE but the piano player.
I only want to make out with him. Unless I get hungry. In that case I will take him home and screw him as a distraction from eating.
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
Best feedback on my performance so far: "There are things that can't be unseen."
I asked her why she was drunkenly masturbating to Iron Man and all she replied was "Robert Downey Jr". As far as excuses go, that seemed pretty legit.
in the midst of studying i picked up my capsule full of untouched weed, popped it open, and whispered "soon" into it. midterms man
Just had a med school interview with that doctor I fucked in college. He remembered. Asked if I still have my nipple rings. Overall, I think it went well.
You're my best friend, so I'm kinda scared to say this, but.....I kinda feel odd when I show up with you at your family events and I have banged or blown at least 3 people in the room
Randomize
