Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
on the way to work, i saw an empty wine bottle sitting in the middle of an intersection. i thought of you.
i can respect that.
I just got home. Seriously all I remember is taking out my contacts and putting your balls in my mouth.
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
the theme of the baby shower is Nightmare On Prego Street
Last I remember we played rock paper scissors for who would fuck the guy with cowboy boots on and I won..
I told him id do anything with him and he said angry pirate? So I said okay. Never seeing him again.
What's an angry pirate?
You dont want to know. If someone offers say no. Never ever do the angry pirate. Ever.
I was scared that I should know him but I was too busy blacking out to remember
Well, that was my first dog walk of shame. Nothing says "I've got my life together" like an inside out shirt and a baggie full of dog shit.
HE'S LICKING FROSTING OFF OF THE EIGHTEEN YEAR OLD BOY
Oh like it's the first time I've had a bowl of wine
I have the liquor shits and this time, it's personal.
It's the never-ending clusterfuck that is my love life
Turns out your granddad is cooler than you. We're taking him on our New year's eve pub crawl instead. Sorry.
Randomize