i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
the dude from the bar called to tell his mom about me immediately after we finished PLEASE COME GET ME
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
I wish I could just thrust my cock straight into her new relationship.
His drunk text included an attempt at quoting a Nyquil bottle in MLA format
Just reduced mom to tears when she realized I wasn't kidding about hating kids. She's crying about never being a gma. Now would be the time to tell her about the girl you knocked up. You're welcome.
What happened to my knees?
You ate shit in front of the homeless people. They applauded.
Andy was trying to screw his door shut from the inside so no one could get in.
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
Also he didn't buy condoms after we ran out last week. Luckily I had one, but I told him he should be more optimistic about getting laid
Well. At least he's a gentleman. A gentleman satanist.
He smells like ham and a lifetime of poor choices
Let's celebrate our freedom by getting high and doing stupid shit.
You know it's a bad cold when sneezing feels better than orgasming...
She was riding a razor scooter down the street wearing nothing but a feather boa it was beautiful.
Randomize