I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
We walked past a group of guys in front of a bar last night and they claimed, I quote: Wow, we'd actually have to work for that.
thats what you get for writing a paper after liquor pitchers
its only a rough draft.
I woke up to the sound of a beer can being opened. I love him already
You told the entire McDonalds staff that I was a whore and that you didn't want your french fries cooked.
So the bar isnt gonna put that broken window on my tab. appaerently they want cash
did you know that if you have sex in the elevator on the way up that people can still get in?
He played the same pre-sex songs as his brother...
Maybe there is a secret pocket full of cocaine in that spiderman wallet.
On a scale of zero to "unmitigated disaster," how drunk is he?
But we only had three ninja turtles. So everyone that would ask us where Donatello was, we would say "what? He's gone? Shredder is at it again!"
He said a lot of nice things about me, it was really uncalled for.
I'm ne vrr drinkjng againnnnnnnn dforeal.
He showed up soaking wet with a flashlight and a ping pong ball. I couldn't say no
Well we've always known you have a weakness for guys with balls in their hands
I informed him that we had less than 5 minutes left to live, and his first words were "I'm trying to think of a good They Might Be Giants quip"
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