I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
$22.99 left in the bank til payday = 3($7 jack & coke) + 2($0.89 T-Bell taco) + $0.21 in case of emergency.
math is fun
I'm talking like I woke up and her bra was spinning around caught on my ceiling fan
She told me I was only the second guy she slept with. I told her she was only my second Megan.
Just think of all the blizzard sex people are having right now
The guy in front of me got in the club with his green card, that's awesome
He's almost as awesome as vicodin.
Can i tell him you said that? Cuz i know that means a lot coming from you
Bring scissors.....i think im gonna have to be cut out of this damn jockstrap
they told me if I wanted to live here I had to get an ass tattoo and then they all mooned me simultaneously. ass tattoos as far as the eye could see.
Hello, the Less Drunk that has my sister's phone. I am the Moderately Drunk. I am questioning your Friday activities. Why are you not the More Drunk?
Reading an example in the GRE study book referencing Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles while wearing TMNT pajamas. *airfist*
omg please tell me you're eating pizza right now too.
Girl re-adjusts bra, no one bats an eye. I re-adjust nuts, everyone stares.
I've made this amazing blanket/pillow cocoon combo and I am set for life in here.
Who died my cat blue again?
I gave him a hand job in the parking lot... now he thinks we're meant for each other...
Randomize
