I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
I'm at the doctor and the male nurse (haha) asked me if I smoked, drank or did drugs, and when he said 'drugs' he looked me right in the eye and did a perfect wrist rocket.
READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
We took shots in honor of Shark Week.
All I remember from last night is puking up a box of cheeze-its and the building catching on fire.
She got her phone back last night. And the first thing I sent her was a picture of me pooping in a culvers bathroom
we've been dating more than a month and i just realized there's no hair on his chest..
you've had sex with him. you must've seen him naked.
nah, i feel like naked sex would be getting too serious for us..
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
This is one of those times where I really wish my vagina could tell me what happened last night.
you can officially check off peeing off the 5th floor while shouting "I want to break the guinness world record for longest piss stream" off your college to do list.
Sounds good. I will just get tanked here and wear this batman mask.
Hey my dad gave me life the least I can do is take him chicken strips and a pack of marlboros.
Hey I didn't mean to be all lemme get with your ex husband.
Yeah I blacked out in a wiener costume.... I think I'm ready to come home now.
She’s either doing coke or thinks my cock has the Covid vaccine. Either way I haven’t worn clothes in 3 days
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