did you get my message about your dog?
no... is he ok?
no, i didn't see him when i was being chased out of your house. check your drive way :( sry
He wouldnt get hard, then started talking about his ex wife. I literally rolled over and started to cry
Blowing lines off from the book where the wild things are... bad babysitter?
THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
i'm sad. The beetle crawled away. I was only trying to get him stoned.
Any man who has a face like that and a bike, deserves a vagina like yours permanently.
KNEE DEEP IN HOES. SEND HELP.
At the drs she looked at my back saw your scratch marks and asked "does your back itch a lot?"
i formally give you permission to eat me when i pass out
Would you like to partake in getting high as fuck with your best friend and then proceeding to cry over the shit head guys we deal with?
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
I think I just got drunk texted by my psychiatrist
dollar rum and cokes, see you on the dark side of infinity
A drunk and bleeding peter is knocking on your door... in nothing more than a sombrero, boxers and cowboy boots.
She really wants to put my dick in her mouth, and to be honest I really don't want to put it there.
Randomize
