my mario cart skills improve with alchohol. and i think my real car skills do to but the cop didnt see my logic
You should have seen the look on the cashiers face when I was buying steel reserve with a suit on.
i got last night's adventure to take the garbage out when he was leaving. my vagina is THAT good.
Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
I'm cheering for the colts this year. I basically have to since my fake says i'm from indianapolis
I just wanted to let you know I just licked gravy off of my boobs. Just putting that out there.
I think he may have overheard our "how much coke would you fuck me for" conversation last night...
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
I officially lit my glove on fire while lighting the bong. Winter needs to end.
I've been timing it. He's been showering alone for 33 minutes. 4 minutes ago, he said "truth or dare." haven't heard anything since.
How sad is it that I'm looking in the farm & garden section of craigslist to find a weed dealer. I mean, that's where they'd be right? Just gotta break the code.
I look like slutty woodland creatures dress me in the morning. Everybody's got problems.
im sleeping with a therapist...so you can talk to me.
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
I'm eating pizza in the bathtub
Randomize
