i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.
She just wrapped her tongue around my thumb.....lizard girl may be my next wife.
I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.
It's not a good night until someone eats a bagel covered in face mask thinking it's cream cheese
Oh, and trying to figure out who wants to do Molly in a frat is like asking damn children if they want puppies and candy. So just bring as much as possible.
I pretty much envision me eating a turkey leg whilst fucking you. I have priorities.
I have bruises everywhere. I think I took "the drinks are strong" as more of a challenge than a warning.
He's cute when he's drunk, too. Also he tried to fight my door...
You should imdb "mourning wood" to see what I'm doing with my $80,000 English degree today
All i really wanna do tonight is get drunk with you and dance on tables. is that too much to ask?
I'm texting an actual stripper. A male stripper. I dont wanna talk about it yet
Captain Morgan does not know self control. Nor does he teach it.
day drinking caused me to be in bed at a decent time. can't complain.
I'm jealous, curious, and aroused. All at the same time.
My job here is done.
I hear my roommate snoring and I feel bad for his girlfriend but then I hear them having sex and I guess it all works out in the end.
Randomize
