Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
the drag queen on stage looks like shes wearing the EXACT same dress i wore 2 senior prom.
So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
The kid in front of me is videochatting and typing to his gf. I should make poop/sex faces over his shoulder, right?
you called me at 4 am to tell me you found the cracker barrel location where we'll have lunch next week
ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.
haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.
My entire floor is waiting for the couple to come out of the shower. She's a screamer. We've blockaded them
You are missing out on the best boobs in town right now
He was such a tease, he pulled out his dick, let me touch it then put it away
I fell asleep at the bar. And the bouncer threw a snowball at my face.
The bouncer yelled at him for poking at the guy selling roses, I think it's time to leave.
He called it restless penis syndrome. I call it cheating.
Nothing bonds a father and daughter like washing her puke off the front steps
Everyone should know the rule that if your dicks touch during a threeway you just make lightsaber noises and move on.
Some mornings I close deals. Other mornings I puke out my window while I’m driving down the highway
Randomize
