Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
Am I allowed to make my facebook status "loves farting in chairs"? I think it would shock every boy that I am friends with.
just got out of a noise viloation because the cop recognized my roomate as his favorite chipotle burrito roller. just another reason I love ritos
You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
After we finished he asked if I knew if it was a boy or girl. Diet. Starts. Now.
Going to get yelled at but I labeled the reel "four dried up sluts decide going to the middle east to shop during a war is the best idea ever"
Apparently he always goes for the wrong girl so it should be easy for me to nail him.
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
I can feel the alcohol in my calves
Also, you peed on your hand last night. Id just like to point that out
And I might have stolen a bag of Doritos out of Matt's car and hid them in my bag and gave individual chips out to people dancing, trying to convince people they were mini tacos.. Like why Am I allowed to be an adult
He doesn't like Sabbath and that alone is a GIANT red flag. Learn from my experiences and never, I mean NEVER associate with people that hate Black Sabbath and Motörhead.
hopefully I won't be diving through a thorn bush to escape an explosion this time
She shit herself again. We're calling her the "Queen of Sharts".
Randomize
