id be glad to
it's like i warped into dreamland and the only thing that makes sense is my solo cup
best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
No stitches, just platelets and will power
well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
She bent the beer can with her tongue. I'm scared of what she'll do to me
Dude, you face planted, there was no "bar fight".
Just KTHXBAIed an old man for staring at me
Promise me, at my funeral, you will re-enact our human sledding incident of 2011....you can use my dead body as said sled.
Pitting the remainder of the bottle against my hangover. I'm expecting an all out cage match for my soul and wellbeing.
Over 50% of the drunkest nights I have ever had began with me saying "I'll just drink my dinner" to you.
Dude I thought she was trying to turn my dick inside out
The contents of my fridge consist of alcohol, Nuva ring, and cheesecake. I'm that girl.
I told you that you couldn’t eat fifty tacos, you slapped me in the face, ate seventeen tacos, and fell asleep on my floor
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
Randomize
