It's a pity Stephen Hawking can't do sarcasm.
..But I'm still alive. And thats the main thing
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
Lets just not get arrested. That might put a damper on everything. I only say that cause i've almost been arrested.
The used rubbers I threw behind her bed all semester must have landed on the baseboard heater. They went up in smoke when she turned on the heat last night.
She puked her nose ring out of her face.
I just saw a guy in a sombrero and holding an inflated blow-up doll in all her "glory" get escorted out of the mall. I hate Marley.
she cut her forehead open playing a drunken game of pin the tail on the donkey and now she's having a panic attack.
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
I changed my birth control schedule so that I'm on my period while you're gone this week
I don't deserve you.
I have tan lines from my nipple rings.
We were having sex in the gardens when the grounds keeper walked up on us. He gave me a thumbs up and walked away
i woke up inside a girl that i promised i would take on a date to Chili's
At this point, I wouldn't be surprised if he laughs at all of our attempts to keep him sober.
Randomize
