so i woke up with ketchup and a sticky boob on my face...this is a new low
And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
we need 14,000 post its to execute this plan
She fell asleep on the sidewalk and people starting using her as a hurdle
I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this
He told me that I smelled like a Glade Plug-in, then sang the Menard's jingle in it's entirety in between kissing me.
Some guy just yelled at me from his car "CLIIIIIIIIIITT"... I feel like this has something to do with last night....
There's a wake for a coworker on 420 during te time of 420... Hoping everyone will be too sad to notice how high I am.
She had forties taped to her hands and was trying to give him a hand job while he was passed out, with everyone in the living room.
moms trying to set me up with a 28 year old. hes graduated university like im getting high in my bed and he's an adult
Is it weird that sometimes I like to have sex for the health benefits and workout more than the pleasure
You handed me an unpeeled grapefruit off the frat basement floor and then took a bite out of it.
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
DIBS on your mom for my beer pong partner.
Let the record show that I hate your ass.
Randomize
