I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
Please explain to me why I only attract Mormon guys. Just explain that to me.
I think it's God trying to counter your lustful nature. Imagine if Agnostics liked you. You'd never come out of your bedroom.
question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
she then came into the room and yelled I'M GOING TO BE A COCK BLOCK for 5 minutes
doing washington apple shots with my mom. sunday afternoons suddenly got so much better.
I've decided that my new worst fear is that I'll end up on "I Didn't Know I was Pregnant"
I looked at my arm when I woke up..I guess after 8 tally marks I said fuck it and wrote "too much"
The fact that I am sitting home writing a resume while you're out inducing vomiting makes me feel like way more of an adult than I'm ready to be.
Walking back from greek row alone at 3:30am in a child's kangaroo suit...not my proudest moment
Just saw a girl duct tape a cigarette back together..I feel like my life is shambles for being present for this
Dan marino should def buy this ambulance. But not this one. I'm gonna fuck this ambulance up
Oh my god. I'm not ready to be an adult. I'm not ready.
About to throw up, bathroom line up, Bro sees me. Yells, 'PUKER GET OUT OF WAY' THEY ALL PARTED WAY THREW ME INTO A STALL AND CHEERED AS I THREW UP INTO THE TOILET. we are going back
I just pulled a seven inch black hair out of my ass. Pretty sure that means we're dating now
I can't sleep. Send Llama pictures.
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