I'm making progress with her.. She actually looked at me today and gave me a dirty look. Things are going real good.
Keeping my bail papers as a souvenir from when I was arrested. Too weird?
u got into a flexing contest with a dude in bathroom in the mirror at the club
I've never seen a grown man cry so much after getting jerked off by a stripper. I say it's the best $600 he ever spent.
God I hope my hair dresser doesn't realize that all these hairspiration pictures are from gay porn blogs on tumblr.
I barely remember the girls that I got pregnant, you think I'm gunna remember the ones that played handball
The doctor that gave me my std test is trying to hook me up with her daughter lol
Had a crazy moment last night. Had to get up, run to bathroom, pop 3 Xanax, sit on bathroom floor and rock myself in fetal position. Not my best moment.
Sobered up midsex and just went with it. After he tried cuddling and I awkwardly rolled out of the bed to find someone on the floor, apparently it was his room so he got to listen.
Booty calls should never involve the cops.
I think weed is turning my hair brown
I can hear my family downstairs singing Christmas carols as I masturbate
Dude so last night I was eating out my gf and her kitten climbed onto my back and fell asleep. AND SHE DIDN'T NOTICE FOR LIKE 10 MINUTES
I told you I couldn't sleep because of the speed and you rolled over and replied "shh. just pretend."
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
Randomize
