If only Ben were 51% gay instead of 49%
First date. He's wearing a tuxedo shirt and keeps asking me about our future children. Escape plan #3 is now in action...
so the last visual we have of him for the next 87 weeks is him outside on the ground rolling around yelling I HATE BLOWJOBS
Still can't believe they give people like us a drivers license and college degree.
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
I'm giving you a get out of sober free card for one of the nights
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
Winning pick four numbers were just 6969... if I were 18 I could've won 20,000 dollars.
Well that's my green light to bang ur brother. Its not real til its on fb
I slept awesome next to you. You're like an electric blanket that I can have morning sex with.
Considering we're about to fuck, I really need your girlfriend to stop liking all my Facebook posts.
We were having margaritas and I was saying "back when I was drinking..." They looked all confused. Then I realized "holy shit they think THIS is drinking?"
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
BRB. These cougars are squabbling over my junk and one of them is offering to pay my tuition
Randomize
