They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
Crown is evil. It plays hide and seek with my morals
I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
Just heard the garage door open and I immediately sprinted to the laptop to erase history, even though I haven't watched porn today...I believe Pavlov now.
The more I throw up, the more I am remembering exactly what I drank last night...in order.
if i die of alcohol poisoning tonight, just know i kinda expected it and totally deserved it
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
I take back everything I said about communal showers
it's my sixth sense. If there's an orgy within 20 miles of me i'll know about if. Or be a part of it.
I should have known our good time had gone to shit when his ankle bracelet started flashing.
Want to come over and play therapist and then fuck all the emotion away?
It is completely possible to eat beef jerky sexually.
Itd be nice if there was a level of interest in me somewhere in between the indifference and obsession that I've only been attracting
Friends don't let friends put redi whip in their wine
My favorite part was making you pull out your lucky steelers vibrator and show it to jerome bettis at the bar
Randomize
