oh my god, i just wanna eat cake off your dick
my little sister told my dad she found willy wonka's golden ticket in the backseat of my car. now my dad knows my boyfriend uses magnums.
Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
I tried to explain to him that we just wanted a stereotypical black friend to be in our group. He didn't take it too well... Never take me to the bar again.
Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester.
The goblet must only be used for good. And vodka. And anything t-pain would be proud of.
He came in my nose, then said it would help clear my sinuses.
I stole an ensure out of their fridge and started chugging it. That was when Maria made me leave.
Exactly. Some of us want to get married. And some of us want to wear sombreros and do cocaine. To each their own.
The bed I'm sleeping in has a headboard only handcuffs could love. I'm gonna pick up a local dude and wreck that.
Are we talking about who knows if I'll get naked pictures of you with a broadsword or who knows if I'll be surprised?
Could have been worst, could have seen me bent over biting her carpet while her son was inside me, i think i would have respnded with "i was just trying to be quiet"
She asked if i could guess "what shape her carpet was". I got it wrong (christmas tree).
I managed to get through my meeting without throwing up in someone else's office, so there's that for an accomplishment today.
My body hates me. Pretty sure I drank 3 pitches full of coffee last night and took two adderal. I slept and ran a marathon at the same time. You should see my bed.
Randomize
