Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
hey tell your friend im sorry for licking his mouth, that was probably inappropriate
I'm pretty sure the guy she brought home is a polish porn star..
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
There is a large scratch and bruise about the size of a pizza bagel next to my vagina. Please text back if you know what happened.
Sorry I need more motivation then McDonalds and mojitos.
The bartender just legitimately thanked me for breaking the cycle of speed metal by playing mmmbop.
i don't think that has ever happened before in the history of man
First highlight of the semester: campus safety caught me peeing in the dirt parking lot by kappa. Then as they were about to write me up, they recognized me, laughed, and left.
She sprained her ankle last night trying to flash me.
HE WAS DRESSED LIKE A FISHERMAN AND HE WAS LIKE OH SHIT I THINK I JUST FOUND THE DEADLIEST CATCH i couldnt not go for it my honour compelled me
I wound up running down the street in 12 degree weather in just my bra and then fell asleep cuddling my bottle. You tell me how last night went.
I like how she'll post a picture on Instagram with her boyfriend and 2 hours later you'll send me a snap of her panties on your rear view mirror
Did you know that pizza hut has a wedding proposal box? And sorry for being kinda drunk yesterday when you got here
I smell like a brewery and I have been drinking for 7 hours. This seems like a perfect time to tell my husband I want a divorce.
Nothing showshows the government the middle finger more than spending your tax refund on drugs
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