Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
explain to me why "crisis hotline lolz" is in my contacts?
Hahaha you puked all over his shirt.
You puked in the planter and everyone saw your snatch.
Well someones bitter they didn't get any.
we tried to steer you away from them but you just kept yelling 'i need dick' and going back. sorry.
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
Did he make you just lay your head next to his cock and talk to it again?
Woke up laying in the kitchen floor with a cup in one hand and the beer tap in the other. Guess I just needed that one last beer.
And all I wanted you to do is stand there and sing who let the dogs out.
You need to stop thinking about the needs of your vagina and concentrate on the greater good
The friend zone. He put me in the friend zone. But said he still wants me to suck his dick. I'm in the dick sucking friend zone and I want to die.
We were still up at 6am, taking shots, because thats apparently how he liked to "get the day started".
She's running around the streets punching people and narrating. I don't know whether to laugh or stop her
Gotta wait until my full time offer is confirmed before I try to fuck the mid level manager
Tell me not to drink and get on ladders. I think I need the reminder.. I'm clumsy enough sober.
I told him to not try to hang out with me ever again and now I regret it Bc im bleeding through my uterus and just want him to suck on my aching nipples
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