I just saw a hobo shake a payphone until it spat out a bunch of quarters. what a champ.
No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
He asked about stds. I told him I don't have any... which I don't. They are now called sti's. Whooopsie
I can't go out tonight I need to save my money for important things.....like rogaine and ecstasy.
my being single is dangerous.
Got a basket, 50 condoms, some candy, 100 plastic eggs & my bunny costume. Campus will feel my wrath in 2 weeks
theres always time to masturbate. my grandpa taught me that.
You took a fire extinguisher off the wall in the hallway to play Ghostbusters.
Just coat-checked 2 backpacks full of 40's...it was the bouncer's idea.
There are only families here. I'm at the bar alone double fisting drinks. You cannot get any more approachable than I am now.
proof that my night is going well: I can still open doors
She thought that based on the way she feels that she got drugged last night, but come on, her turn on word is hello, who needs to drug that??
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
I am become drunk, destroyer of all worlds
HILY FUCK HES HERE I HAVE MONISTAT IN ME HE SUPRISED ME
Randomize
