I'm being pulled over???
For what!?!?!
??? I'm in a cab!!!!!
I made my rape whistle into a roach clip device. FRESHMAN YEAR!
im just going to wait until i dont feel like the grim reaper is having sex with me
I am planning my day around naps and lesbians.
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
Woke up this morning with seven juice boxes under my pillow and an empty box of condoms In my pocket. Good night.
We found him in the neighbors shed using a bicycle as a blanket. We just left him there.
whoa! who said he's my boyfriend?
Oops. Sorry. That guy you keep accidentally running into in public. And at home. And with your vagina.
The drunk mom in a firefighter hat just told her to leave.
You're worse than that girl who made out with her cousin at that party
That was you...
As soon as I got there, you appeared out of no where, yelled "they're giving away free cigarettes!" in my face and then disappeared and I didn't see you the rest of the night.
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
Wait, cocaine is okay but tanning isn't?
Honestly I really just want to do you in the mail truck. Thought about it a lot today
I'm officially removing you from my nudes recipient list on snapchat.
Randomize
