she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
On my way home from Vegas. Just realized my pants are inside out
I had 4 margarita's and 2 mixed drinks and i blew zero's. Its a cinco de mayo miracle.
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
she asked me where ive been her entire life and the guy in the room next to us yelled "with other women bitch!"
well... I just junk punched a carnie. Doesnt matter how, it still counts for my bucket list.
She wanted to make popcorn, but the air-popper was broken. So she dumped the entire container of kernels into the clothes dryer. Drunk movie night was a success!
Now I have the walk of shame to give the receptionist the bathroom key back, I've had it for 20 minutes. I should just smile and wink. She knows what went down.
I SHIT YOU NOT a mailman helped me leave without waking him up.
I'm bringing my passport in case we get drunk and wind up in Mexico
I want to buy weed from this guy on Tinder but I'm not sure I should trust him...but it's free delivery
I danced my ass off after the funeral last night. Kept dropping it low and I can feel it in my legs today. Im like shit I needa go work out
What a way to honor the dead
I possibly am a tad bit not really but maybe slightly intoxicated.
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
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