Taylor Swift is so right about you.
Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
Saved 180 Bucks tonight. Pulled my own tooth. More money to party with.
sometimes i wish i was the girl in a porno. that way if i couldn't get any, i'd just order a pizza and do him.
A kid wearing a Batman belt buckle in my psych class just asked how people get pee fetishes. I'm too high for this.
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
Don't get the hula weed. It makes you sleep walk in destructive and confusing ways. I'll explain on Saturday.
Fuckbuddy couldn't meet, so she's trying to find a substitute to come fuck me. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
Of course, you get to fuck all night while I'm stuck in the girls bathroom sucking a limp dick for coke
I have six drafts of messages to you that just say "blood" and I have no idea where they came from.
Dude. I'm super jealous I'm not there. Plus I look really pretty tonight, I'm wearing my long blue dress, I have long blonde hair, and I'm just sitting here hitting Larry the Long Bong. I'll pretend like your 3 spirits are floating in my smoke. Fuck.
I'll say this one last time. You are TWENTY FIVE YEARS OLD. You are not going to die alone and this is not the twilight of your life. Stop taking shrooms on your period!!!!
This is the second time this month a hookup cried when I left...bro get your shit together bar does NOT equal wife 😬
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
I had a dream that you were telling me how good you are at parkour and legit you were doing it just like Michael Scott...
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