Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
On a scale of one to Chris Brown, how angry are you?
Don't put random dicks in your mouth or any other crevice for that matter... and i'm home in 30 seconds
Wish I got that text last night instead of this morning.
I'm bringing a flask to the test on friday. If I'm gonna fail at least I can enjoy the experience
They got their marriage license when they were at the courthouse for her arraignment.
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
Afraid I'm about to get arrested. Complicated situation but not a joke. If I do not text again that all is clear within 90 minutes kindly begin bail process. I have the cash to repay as soon as I get home. Details later.
Are we still banned from the library?
I've never danced to a Michael Jackson song in a bar and left alone bro. Something in girls loves a guy who dances to mj
you dont know your limits until you wake up with a black eye and a bruised rib and find out you got ran over by a bicycle last night
Had to walk of shame past Westminster Abbey this morning. Pretty sure a Japanese tourist took a photo of me.
Have you considered sword swallowing? Something about that bj tells me you could make a it a career.
Oh my god the guy at DQ just gave me the number 69 and winked at me
Question: the touchscreen on my phone randomly quit working, do you think this could be a latent reaction from me peeing on my phone last weekend?
Randomize
