Almost ran you over in the parking lot. You look good
Even my Mr Clean Magic Eraser can't make last night disappear.
I got into my dads silver toyota in the back seat to get picked up and 2 mins later I asked my dad when are we leaving, then an old mexican woman turned around. wrong toyota I'm guessing.
She accidentally pre-ordered us Dominos for the next day at 11:30am... we were very confused when we woke up.
The lack of pants and amount of productivity in my life right now is amazing.
it's like his penis is God's way of saying "sorry about his face"
Also I smoked away my sore throat last night. It's a 420 miracle.
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
Is she still in your room?
Not for long. My plan is to smoke her out like a small woodland creature.
Oh yes there is. Now I'm the sad one. Please organize my life. And I will demoralize yours.
If I get a 4.0 I am doing SO much cocaine.
She didn't get a tit job, she's just wearing the right size bra for once
Can you masturbate to someone liking your instagram picture?
We found you walking up the on ramp to the highway carrying a 40 mph speed limit sign with no shoes on. Rough night?
My body isnt used to all this fresh air, sun and booze....ok well maybe just the fresh air and sun...its used to the booze.
Randomize
