alone in the kitchen at 4 am eating a hotdog.
Have you ever looked at the 750mL bottle of wine on the seat next to you knowing that it's just not going to be enough?
Each and every day.
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
I can only get completely wasted and hungry two more times and then we're out of fritos.
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
If you were a good friend you would take the nipple tassels off me before the ambulance comes.
Until you find your self finger banging supergirl in the middle of the dance floor while her friends are passing around for luigi mustache for a photo op, YOU HAVE NOT HIT MY LEVEL
The milf did the body paint, come to the bar
Brandon just showed up at my place with a florida state cheerleader he met in vegas durin spring break. His life is a fucking movie
Sorry that I got drunk and refused to let you buy me pizza. I'm a monster and I understand if you hate me forever
Do you think the police would frown on me opening a psych drug pharmacy on the side? Just to dispose of my drugs without polluting the water supply! It is for the animals!
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
tonight...tonight im having sex in honor of you
It went from a "chill game of beer pong" to "absinthe body shots and a tits parade" in literally two minutes.
Told you inviting her was a good idea.
The weekend was a blur. There was vodka and penises and orgasms. I played a game of Cock Roulette and won big
Randomize
