ok understand this, i didn't pay for your dinner bc you said i wasn't going to get a blowjob for at least a month... this isn't a mail-in rebate deal, you gotta pay upfront
So, just so you know... Your vasectomy worked.
bonus
I know it's not your turn to do the dishes, but since they're covered in your puke, it is.
Can you explain my first weekend back, because there a lot of blacked out gaps and 32 friend requests i would like to know about
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
she smells like cat throw up and cupcakes. i'm trying to focus on the cupcakes but it's really. hard.
She told me I made the cut, and to write my name and number on the white board by the door. I was the 7th number down.
the bandages come off on Tuesday. we can try out my new breasts then.
Must've forgot to hang up with her when I was telling Josh I plan to pop champagne if I nail her tonight. She showed up with a bottle and said "only if we can toast it with Josh"
Seriously. If I'd known all it took was a 29 year old UPS guy to make me feel THIS SEXY, I'd have been fucking them for 30 years.
I had sex with him in the back of my car in a duck onesie. I'm worth something dammit.
Honestly who turns down a free blowjob?
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
HE WAS CUMMING IN THAT DICK PIC
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