Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
Was going to watch Bolt. Fucked a stranger instead. Details later.
So you didn't like Bolt?
drunkie insisted on stuffing the rest of his scrambled eggs in his pockets before we left ihop. we really should have left a better tip
Nope, just sitting on the couch, eating an advent calendar, being depressed about the herps.
At some point last night was I riding a garbage can.. Things are starting to come back to me
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
Drunk you assumed that me saying I thought squirrels were cute meant for you to trap one in my car by luring it in with ham. You're going to hell for this.
My neighbor Chris is here. I am warning you, he is wearing a kilt I just saw his balls. Be incredibly careful that you don't see what I did.
Mm. I just want to eat pancakes off of his fine ass.
came home to a trail of roses from the door halfway up the stairs. but my nonsingle roommate lives downstairs. idk if they celebrated on the stairs or if some girl tried to woo me last night and i don't remember
I won't be able to get a boner for a month
Challenge accepted.
I may or may not have definitely said the words "how do I put this beer in my purse without looking like an alcoholic" last night.
So, if you eat too many protein bars, you will shit your pants. This I learnt today..... at work.
last night i fell off a barstool and busted my nose. i can regretfully say that i didn't see cherub last night.
Like at first he was barely doing anything. So I was like harder and then holy shit he's like going all HULK SMASH on my vagina. I mean it felt fucking awesome. BUT STILL
Randomize
