the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
i have the same doorman on the day shift as the guyi shacked with has on the night shift. he just laughed at me when i came home this AM. FML
we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
what kind of dress can i wear to my high school reunion that says "even though i'm more successful than all of you i'm still up for sex"?
Lesbians. Lesbians everywhere.
Either I spilled whiskey on my boobs last night or they are fermenting. Not concerned in the slightest
The token old dude at the show tried hitting on us by telling us his favorite rapper was Cayenne West.
I can't! Its just like the night that I bathed you, I didn't tell anyone.
... Cuz there's nothing like having your two male roommates catching you have a good cry in the driveway at 9am on a Wednesday.
who orders an old fashioned in 2014? even my Grandparents think you're an asshole.
My mom said she saw you at the grocery store. Said you looked like you were "headed for a Lindsay Lohan quarter life crisis of sorts"
HIGH AS FUCK. JUST WATCHED THE TRIPPIEST VIDEO EVER. IM NOT SCARED OF PANDAS. I GOTTA GO. TRIPPIN AGAIN
THEY WILL NOT STOP FLINGING CARDS AROUND THE ROOM! It has been four hours. HOW CAN IT STILL BE ENTERTAINING?!?! I will be under the table if you need me.
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