so she proceeds to puke everywhere, look up at me like a sick dog, and then say, "i'll finish if you want me to."
You probably shouldn't be hiding under someones bed listening to them get head
Just got back from my 9:00 am class to find my roommate soaking her lifesaver gummies in vodka so she can have them for a snack in class later.
toilet paper cling ons are not as adorable as the little red cub makes them look on the charmin commercials.
Now they're talking about doing whiskey shots since they're flipping the turkey over. You might need to drive me home.
I left my Thanksgiving family dinner puking in my hands from the worst hangover in the world
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
I cant believe you went home with her.. Your poor immune system and the shit you put it through.
Are you drunk? Because I am and if you're not, this may be very awkward in the morning
Thats for me to know and you to find out.
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
He laid on the ground 100 ft from the car crying about how he just wanted to be home already
I threw up in a pringles can. how do you think my night went.
He got an erection from helping me mobilize my lumbar spine. I love physical therapy school.
These guys are just fucking with my heart instead of fucking me. They're fucking up.
it's my fake id's birthday. i'm wearing a hat, and i have a beard. i'm untouchable. TO THE BARS!
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