don't worry. When rigor sets in, we'll make sure to get you laid one last time.
Now would be a good time to set your alarm to pick me up from jail in the morning.
He likes Jesus. Game over.
Oooh wait, he just told me he was high.
gross. I think i'll just donate all my eggs. My children will be incredible, but they're not welcome in my womb
I feel bad for the next person that's gonna live in my room. There's so much semen on the carpet
No mixer. Vodka in yogurt?
Unintentionally made him cum in his own mouth, and he just sat there screaming..
I forgot how wholesome of a place a park is when youre not drinking there.
This guy is walking around with a deer head on. Honestly what the fuck
Its alot like that time you got motorboated by the carni at the rodeo.
Oh. My. God. You texted my mom "IM BACK BITCHES!"
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
It feels so wrong having a picture of my tits next to a picture of my daughter.
I already popped my bottle of Rose and took my boxers off. No can do muchacho
next time you go get food at three am and leave a rando here can you warn me??? Also i tazed him. but it was just my little one so i think he'll be fine. bring me some fries.
Randomize
