You kept yelling that her vagina looked like a hatchet wound.
Had a dream I was a monkey and smoked pot out of a bong made out of a tree
i literally paused in the middle of it, turned on my light, pointed to the picture netxt to my bed and go "you hooked up with my roommate too!!! AWWW!" he was so weirded out. i don't think he understands the relationship we have..we share..
And some old guy told me Jesus loves me and I laughed super hard and told him sinning is fun. Hahaha
I just want a pillowcase full of fast food so I can eat and sleep this hangover away
I threw up outside of a cab while waiting in a drive thru Mexican line while others who i don't know watched from their cars while they ate. Dinner and a show.
We are not in a rock band. We can't continue living like this.
But for real, I had the best sex of my life on that bunk bed
I'm home now if you wanna come over.
Sloane just tried to lick my eyeball. I'm going to regain my composure then I'll be there.
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
he just used a semicolon in the middle of a sext
HOW CAN YOU EXPECT ME TO KEEP YOUR SECRETS IF YOU KEEP ON TELLING ME THEM.
I yelled at him as he left "you broke up with me. You lost your blow job privileges"
We had sex to Hey Arnold, Rugrats, and All That. I feel like my life has come full circle.
I got a lap dance in honor of your birthday last night.
Thank you.
theres a video...
oh god.
Randomize
