I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
woke up with ski boots on and a kayak in my room... birthday successful? i'd say so
Did you know even strippers have to have GED's these days??
Scott woke me up by cracking a beer open in my face. Best friends are awesome.
i really need to stop putting makeup on my cats..
She gave me a rubber ducky to make me feel better while I was throwing up.
There's a point around the one and a half minute mark where the keg stand goes from impressive to pathetic
I JUST FOUND AN INTERNATIONAL POLE DANCING CHAMPIONSHIP IN SPANISH
Also, you should've bet on Team Liver.
We won.
USA USA USA
Am I supposed to confront my 52-year-old boss/mother of 3 about the fact that we matched on Tinder?
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!
Just had to break it to that one guy that I can't sleep w him bc he looks identical to my brother. So how's your morning?
Your youporn search history says otherwise.
I accidentally stubbed my dick
What does that even mean?
We were talking about kinky shit, and I suggested a hand job in church.
How'd that go over?
Praise the lord and pass the lotion.
Randomize
