I'm too stoned for this. I'm Canadian.
Noooo. We thought it would be funny for him to wake up buried in the sand. But we just remembered about the whole high tide thing and it's dark and it's pretty damn hard to find an unconscious head sticking out of the sand. Just help us out
I guess I really am the only person in this world who can successfully have a no-strings-attached threesome on the beach.
I said geronimo as I came I'm not sure if he appreciated the doctor who reference or was just confused
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
I wrapped my scarf around his head and then made him go down on me
And I also said, "probe me"
I'm gonna send you a dick pic now just so your uncomfortable at work
It was all fun and games until she said "you're so pretty I wanna punch you in the face" and the proceeded to punch her in the face
walked into my roommates bathroom to her throwing up a quesadilla while singing come on skinny taco
Trying to Jedi mind trick myself into not throwing up. This is not the esophagus you are looking for.
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
To be fair I went my whole first week without showing up to work drunk!
Just Peed in a cup for my country. Fighting the good fight.
My sexual preferences tend to require a degree in psychology to understand
and idk now I have nine bags of lettuce in my fridge
Randomize
