oh my god im such an asshole. i just asked the guitarist of bad religion if he was a scalper.
Best part is I totaly had to get into my dads car like I didn't have my pants off two minutes ago.
I'm on the bus and the homeless person in the seat to my left is jacking off to a cartoon picture he found. He's now cleaning up with mitten I dropped.
I got her a Nickelback box set.
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
We are so drunk I just let him piss between my legs on the toilet. That's love.
Lesbians. Lesbians everywhere.
Post-shopping-cart-scooter-jousting victory fuck?
she said i was like a little lamb and she felt bad for luring me into her den of sin. then she blew me.
Being a virgin isn't supposed to be this easy for you.
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
I just want my birth control to stop making me feel like I'm watching baby seals get clubbed to death any time anything even remotely unpleasant happens lol
I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.
Life update - currently drunk off my ass in the yoga room of SFO at 5:30 in the morning.
the amount of 23-year-old guys who have seen me naked is starting to get a little worrying
I think you just described to us the most perfect drunken fairy tale that has somehow never been written
Randomize
