trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
Riding home in a carseat. Worst. Night. Ever.
You're earring is so big in my mouth
We walked in and they were fucking to Somewhere Over the Rainbow... I need a new roommate.
In the library. Still drunk. Shoes missnig. Term paper due in fiften minutes. Iff I puke u think theyll throw me out?
you wore rainboots all night because you said the forecast called for wine spillage
Last time I saw him the sun was coming up and he was asleep in the student wellness parking lot. For some reason people were peeing on him.
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
All I want is a camelback full of Jameson and the weather to be cool enough for me to wear rainbow spandex. Ugh. Pride problems.
Winning the lottery was the best thing that ever happened to my penis.
Greatest pickup line ever: "We are out celebrating winning the lottery."
You've fucked so many I should get a word bank when you make me guess these things.
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
There's a website where you can order a pile of horse shit to be dropped on a persons doorstep. So that's another option.
I'm almost too old to be on The Real World but feel like I'm too young to be on The Bachelor and I'm just really confused with my place in life.
I had to get my boss birth control a work today. I knew going to ASU would come in handy in my career someday.
Randomize
