i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
Last night i was so high that i came home and did a taste test of every vitamin water and wrote theyre grade down on paper.
a pedometer??? no beatles?Steve jobs just took a dump in CA and it landed on my heart
it wasn't sex, it was awkward naked time.
Just got Netflix. Dexter Marathon. Still in my PJ's. Only eaten cookie dough and drinking a 40. I have never reeked so strongly of lonely .
You mean the girl who was passed out face down on the bathroom floor until 10 AM? You're right, she was cute.
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
Seriously, dude... You knows its bad when you gag on her nipple.
My birthday is in 11 days. Going ham. Consciousness will not be an option
We celebrated International Women's Day by spending $700 and taking our tops off at the strip club
The boys offered to pay but we went halfs because we're feminists
He is 30 (that's 8 years older than I am) and uses more Emojis than I do. Problem?
We are in Florida for 3 days. The people in charge of shit brought: a waffle maker, a cheese grater and a SEWING MACHINE
AND NO VODKA
The moment I was petting the giraffe was the moment I passed out
Stay away a while longer.
Still not sure if they're cops or strippers.
Anyone who does not know who Paul McCartney is does NOT get to put hands in my pants
Randomize
