we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
I felt like a body pillow being humped by a twelve year old.
I just wasted my iTunes Gift Card on a season pass for Hannah Montana. Bad decision?
how can getting a pizza be this hard?
when you've been drinking 14 hours anythings impossible
I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
I've done unspeakable things to your penis. I have every right to give it a name.
after she pushed someone down the stairs to get more vodka we lost her for a while and found her on the pole in the garage pouring water on herself
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
We could all 3 jump out of a cake in just tophats. A true marble cake.
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
one more hour of this work bullshit and I'm off to get high with your cat.
Yeah, sorry about that. Dropped the phone on my face while I was watching porn.
Have you ever given your heart and soul to someone and they turn out to be nothing but a great fuck that makes a mean grilled cheese because same
He just got home after serving 5 years in prison. And I think I may courtesy fuck him. Best Christmas present ever.
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
Randomize
