nothing tight i'm going to stuff myself with food and alchy
he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
Just caught my bro jerking off to a lane Bryant catalog
yeah, it's no longer just 'day drinking' when it's 5pm and you're knocking over fruit displays at fresh market
That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
Hah, I lost the lenses in my glasses, didn't event notice til this morning... How was the meeting?
I'm at breakfast at my kid's school and I have noted at least 3 other parents with last night's red wine mouth and bleary eyes. I don't know why I always get so paranoid.
Come find me, I'm the girl sitting alone in taco bell at 9 in the morning drinking concealed beer with a straw
Take a good hard look at your life. And the number of 18-20 year olds that you have made out with in the last 6 months... and then keep doing whatever the fuck you want.
Running errands with mom, cool. Coming to pleasures with mom for her valentines night, not ever in a million years cool.
Let the record show that the first hour of my twenty-first was spent shooting tequila ans discussing the emotional integrity of werewolves.
Good thing my vagina doesn't have a chronometer on it. I'm sure my fiance would be horrified. Probably 10 miles from this past weekend alone.
Well after we were arrested you just kept chanting "Like a good neighbor state farm is there"
had a nice chat with the older gay fellow who works in the bakery at the new vons about vday...we both feel that it's a day of dashed expectations & concerns that we'll have to be cut out of our spanx
Literally.... Guy kissing himself in mirror in this hotel elevator
Randomize
