So I got hit on by a gay guy. It might have something to do with the fact that I licked his nose.
And why did you do that?
Tequila
he breathalyzed me before we had sex.
I should just tell him this. He doesn't need to be all nice and ask me on dates and to do gay stuff like hangout during the day. I'll still sleep with him regardless.
it took you forty minutes to realize it was a gay bar.
who paints a picture of their own dick and sends it to people. i dont know if its borderline crazy or just fucking genius...
Well I'm 85-90% sure that he licked syrup off my body, but no guarantees...
Things got outta hand once she told me to water-board her with Patron.
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
I guess my vagina missed him because it called and left a 5 min. message. Color me impressed
What if everything solid was made of oreos and everything liquid was wine
I just got chills
Brett got me a cake with a pic of me shitting
man my uterus needs to drop the egg or GTFO, BUUUSHIT
We were drunk having sex and I knocked over her bedside table/fish bowl and she jumped off to check if her fish was still alive but she made me pasta so it's cool
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. She asked how my day was going and it got hard.
He wants me to fart in his mouth and is offering me SOOOO much coke. I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place. GIVE ME ADVICE.
Randomize
